Here comes the harsh truth. Love dies. Dreams die with that love. Actually, love still exists, but the relationship dies. Friendships die. People you thought might be the best group you've had in a while, they go. Dreams die again. Future plans die. People leave your life. They put marks on you. Help you become the person you are. But in the end, everything finishes.

Couple of days left before the Milan exit. Finalizing my experience here and feeling emotionally heavy and tired. A lot happened lately. Three months ago I had no idea what I was gonna do about the city I was in, my relationship, my future. But I made some decisions. Hard ones.

Looking back at it, I didn't only live here. I literally shaped my identity. I've changed a lot.

Major learnings

1. Always put yourself first, man. Without becoming a full circle, whoever comes into your life just fills a gap. You lack the critical eye to assess what that relationship has actually brought you. Fill that gap inside you first. Make yourself a full circle. Then, romantic or friendship, you'll be able to assess properly if it's ever good for you.
2. Pain is real and always there.
3. Structure is the only way to save yourself during hard times.
4. Hard times will either build you or break you. That's on you.
5. Write every day. Talk to a friend every day.
6. Open up and seek help. Have regular therapy sessions.
7. If you had a problem with someone before and then the circles merge, you can't just be friends all of a sudden. It'll explode at some point.
8. Your enemy's friend is your enemy.
9. If you have yourself, you'll always have somebody looking after you.
10. You only need yourself. Everyone is temporary. Be true to yourself, always.
11. 95% of what you currently have, you don't actually need.
12. Meditate on bad things happening. Sit in silence. Face them.
13. Don't use people as patches on your scars. Seclude yourself for some time. Live with the pain. If you smooth over the cracks, they'll keep haunting you. Even after years and years.
14. Smile more. It brings more people around and it changes your mood. Action first, then the emotion changes. Not the reverse.
15. Try to understand who you are and what you want. As soon as possible. Don't reject it. Shape your life around that. Even if it's hard, remove everything unrelated. Start with people.
16. Cut the drama. There's always pain. Drama won't get you anywhere. Knowledge will. Experience will. Acceptance will.
17. Acceptance is the biggest virtue you can practice in your entire life.
18. Be comfortable with being alone.
19. After the breakup:
    • You need to re-explore yourself. The version of you in that relationship is gone. Now there's a new you.
    • Stay away from patch relationships, even hookups. Take time alone.
    • Reflect on what happened quickly. And learn.
    • Don't ask your ex what you did wrong. They might tell you unexpected things and mess up your head.
20. It's inevitable that in some people's lives, you're the fucking terrible human being. That's how it'll be. You can't run from that. Accept it. Ignore them. Be clear in your own mind about your intentions. Listen to the people you care about.
21. You don't need a huge circle. Have two or three people you talk to weekly but deeply. Telling stuff your parents and siblings don't know, stuff you're ashamed of. Open up as much as you can.
22. Find a bro who matches your masculine-feminine energy. I'm 80-20 and have a friend who's 40-60. This is better than being in a relationship with a woman.
23. Milan is overrated as fuck.
24. Polimi is overrated as fuck.